Hagiophobic Productions
Oscar Zimmerman A.K.A. Cardboard Man
A compulsive collector who bought many valuable items off eBay. His most notable purchase is 10 grams of enriched Uranium left over from the Manhattan Project, which turned him into cardboard man when he cut himself on the inside of the box. Scientist to this day are trying to figure out how that happened. Other notable purchases he made are Caesar's beard, Napoleon's trousers, and Nigeria.
When he is Cardboard Man he is a boxed avenger, fighting crime with his paper towel tube. He aids citizens who need cardboard and stops people from hijacking delivery trucks in exchange for more cardboard. Once though, he was sued for smacking a civilian with his tube, but escaped conviction by pleading insanity. His main triumphs have been defeating The Garden hose and outrunning the deranged redneck whom he stole cardboard from to make his suit.
When he is Cardboard Man he is a boxed avenger, fighting crime with his paper towel tube. He aids citizens who need cardboard and stops people from hijacking delivery trucks in exchange for more cardboard. Once though, he was sued for smacking a civilian with his tube, but escaped conviction by pleading insanity. His main triumphs have been defeating The Garden hose and outrunning the deranged redneck whom he stole cardboard from to make his suit.
The Garden Hose
Very little is known about the origins of the villain known as the Garden Hose, arch-nemesis of Cardboard Man. Theories range from a tragic mishap at a rubber plant to an incident involving the strangulation of the villain's family with a fire hose. No matter where he came from, he is a brutal and merciless evil-doer who aims to ruin everyone's lives with one simple-ingredient: hose water. Whether it be food, slumber parties, dance rehearsals, or cardboard (ESPECIALLY cardboard), the Garden Hose sees it as his next victim. His motto is, "To make instant suffering - just add water!"
After his defeat at the hands of cardboard man, he was locked in a medium security prison. He escaped soon after, leaving only a gigantic hole in his cell wall he had eroded using water. Authorities where quick to admit that it might have been a bad idea to give him the one cell that had a hose in it.
After his defeat at the hands of cardboard man, he was locked in a medium security prison. He escaped soon after, leaving only a gigantic hole in his cell wall he had eroded using water. Authorities where quick to admit that it might have been a bad idea to give him the one cell that had a hose in it.
Smith Anderson
Smith Anderson is a member of the UN who values peace and surrendering when against all odds above all else. Unfortunately, this has led to him being a popular target for members of the Thuggerson family. In his spare time, he performs mad science (all of his experiments involve experimental soda bottles). It is also suspected that he loot bodies, but no evidence exist to support that claim. It is also unknown as to whether his falsetto is natural, or if he's just practicing for an opera performance.
John Thuggerson
One of the members of the notorious Thuggerson family, a large family claiming to be descendants of the first petty thug. John's exact place in the family is unknown, as many cousins and siblings look very similar, but it is an accepted fact that he is one of the oldest Thuggersons located in California, and is second-in-comand in Northern California. Hobbies include: Canoeing, mugging old people, skiing, and attacking members of the U.N. with the help of his brother, Nigel.
Nigel Thuggerson
Older brother to John, Nigel is head of the Northern California Thuggersons, with John as his right hand man. He is said to have risen to power after winning a game a rock-paper-scissors with John. Like his brother, Nigel enjoys many outdoor activities, from mugging to hiking. He also enjoys pretending to be British.
